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Paint it Black - The Rolling Stones


Today's blog entry is a mix of quotes, playlists, lyrics and extracts from either this blog or my book Paper Doll:




“I will survive my grief. Amen. I have run into the darkness and arrived in the morning still living. Amen. I have made my home anywhere I still have a name. Amen”

  • Hanif Willis-Abdurraqui

Best of country:

  • Jolene - Dolly Parton

  • The End of the World - Skeeter Davis

  • Jackson - Johnny Cash, June Carter Cash

  • Fist City - Loretta Lynn

  • Stand by Your Man - Tammy Wynette

  • Send me the pillow you dream on - Johnny Tillotson

  • Make the world go away - Eddy Arnold

  • Almost Maybe’s - Jordan Davis

  • The Bones - Maren Morris

  • Golden Hour - Kacey Musgraves

  • Picture to burn - Taylor Swift

  • Nothing Like You - Luke Combs

  • Before he cheats - Carrie Underwood

  • Mama’s broken Heart - Miranda Lambert

  • Spilled Perfume - Pam Tillis

  • Body Like a Back Road - Sam Hunt

  • She Wouldn’t Be Gone - Blake Shelton

  • love me like a girl - Kelsea Ballerini

  • Beautiful Drug - Zac Brown Band

  • Stilettos - Kelsea Ballerini

  • Razor Blade - Luke bryan

  • H.O.L.Y - Florida Georgia Line

  • Heartbeat - Carrie Underwood

  • Teardrops on my guitar - Taylor Swift

  • Speechless - Dan + Shay

  • The Rest of Our Life - Tim McGraw, Faith Hill

  • Back to life - Rascal Flatts

  • Love’s Gonna Live Here - Buck Owens

  • devil woman - Marty Robbins

  • Honey - Bobby Goldsboro

  • Vitamins - Queen Herby

  • My first thought was the audacity of me making a business woman playlist when I haven’t worked a day in my life, and currently live off of my parent’s money and my disability benefits But my second thought was hang on Caitlin, you’ve poured blood sweat and tears into this book, written all night, typed all day, made playlist after playlist, filled two whole rooms with material to sort through, And that’s without the business studies era, where you’d wake up early and either type up some of Girl Behind the Mask, make a poster, do an assignment or attend a conference that you felt you had every right to attend, that usually finished about 10 in the evening I worked myself into the ground with the business studies diploma and the book and ended up hospitalised with psychosis and insomnia So while I may not be your standard 9 to 5 working gal I will put in the hours when it matters to me I’m disadvantaged in some ways, and haven’t been ready for a job since I was nineteen, I recently volunteered at a bunny sanctuary for an hour on a Saturday to dip my toe into the real world and in sixth form I volunteered for an hour at a care home every Tuesday That’s the extent I can manage it seems, an hour I prefer writing personally, that’s why I’d like to make a career out of it, or singing, or business

Business woman playlist:

  • One Girl Revolution - Superchick

  • 7 rings - Ariana Grande

  • Boss bitch - Doja Cat

  • Independent Woman pt 1 - Destiny’s Child

  • Last Chance - Nicki Minaj

  • Rich Girl - Gwen Stefani, Eve

  • She Loves Control - Camilla Cabello

  • Woman Like Me - Little Mix, Nicki Minaj

  • Most girls - Hailee Steinfeld

  • Glorious - Macklemore, Skylar Grey

  • you should see me in a crown - Billie Eilish

  • Girl Almighty - One Direction

  • Money - Cardi B

  • That’s my girl - Fifth Harmony

  • LIVIN THE DREAM - Queen Herby

  • Work Bitch - Britney Spears

  • Flawless - Beyonce, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

  • My Own Boss - Dizzy Dizzo

  • Look at Her Now - Selena Gomez

  • Mission - Queen Herby

  • Bad Bitch - Bebe Rexha, Ty Dolla $ign

  • How It’s Done - Cash Doll, Kim Petras, ALMA, Stefflon Don

  • 9 to 5 - Dolly Parton

  • Joan of Arc - Little Mix

  • Started - Iggy Azalea

  • Diamonds - Megan Thee Stallion, Normani

Then the men we try to love say we carry too much loss, wear too much black, are too heavy to be around, much too sad to love. Then they leave, and we mourn them too. written by What we own from “Our Men Do Not Belong To Us” (via funcionoacafe) (via barriobruja) ‘Cause if we don’t leave this town, we might never make it out. I was not born to drown, Baby come on. She's up for doing what she like, Any day more like the night. She drowned drunk sorrows. That she stole, bought, borrowed She didn't like fights, But at the same time understood that Fellas will be fellas till the end of time. "I miss you - blink-182 Baby is very complicated to explain to another person, she was a concept, a representation of the ideal feminine archetype, born from an adolescent traumatic experience. I miss her all the time, and not at all, simultaneously She would exhaust me, drain me of all my resources, degrade me, humiliate me, hold my head underwater for months, years at a time, I bent over backwards trying to keep up. She would take the wheel, and prevent me from reacting, speaking, breathing, living. I never saw myself surviving the identity disorder at all.” 60’s/70’s/80’s playlist:

  • I Say a Little Prayer - Aretha Franklin

  • Build Me Up Buttercup - The Foundations

  • My Girl - The Temptations

  • All I Have to do is Dream - The Everly Brothers

  • True Love Ways - Buddy Holly

  • Take Good Care of My Baby - Bobby Bee

  • Baby Love - The Supremes

  • L.O.V.E - Nat King Cole

  • She’s a Rainbow - The Rolling Stones

  • You Can’t Hurry Love - The Supremes

  • Signed, Sealed, Delivered - Stevie Wonder

  • Here You Come Again - Dolly Parton

  • She’s Always a Woman - Billy Joel

  • Tiny Dancer - Elton John

  • Jolene - Dolly Parton

  • This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) - Natalie Cole

  • I Want You to Want Me - Cheap Trick

  • Jessie’s girl - Rick Springfield

  • What’s Love got to do with it - Tina Turner

  • Fast Car - Tracey Chapman

  • Come on Eileen - Dexys midnight Runners

  • I Wanna Dance With Somebody - Whitney Houston

  • Lay All Your Love on Me - ABBA

  • Just Like Heaven - The Cure

  • Saving All My Love For You - Whitney Houston

  • I’m Coming Out - Diana Ross

  • Manic Monday - The Bangles

  • Walking on Sunshine - Katrina & The Waves

“The body changed over time, becoming a gallery of scars, a canvas of experience, a testament to life and one’s capacity to endure it”

  • Janet Fitch, ‘Paint It Black’

“life isn’t about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself”

  • George Bernard Shaw

“There is so much stubborn hope in the human heart”

  • Albert Camus, 'The Myth of Sisyphus and Other Essays’









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