Carmen - Lana Del Rey

There are many lines in this song that at the time of recovery from my identity disorder I related to

doesn’t have a problem lying to herself because her liquors top shelf

I however didn’t fool anyone, telling them I was having fun

I drank whenever I got the chance

Nowadays I drink a lot more than I used to

I was dying, with the anorexia

I did a lot of lying

I listened to this song a lot - of course, I naturally, I loved the idea of Baby being Carmen

My brain was still working well, after everything it had been through, bouncing new ideas around daily - so I considered that to be still shining

But “Baby’s all dressed up with the nowhere to go, that’s the little story of the girl you know” was the clincher

Most of the lyrics work tbf in this song

Anyway, I think relating to a character in a song really helped with my healing process. It made it feel more edgy than heartbreaking. Cool rather than gutted and human and complicated I thought it would be a way to explain it to people too

And if Lana Del Rey was writing songs about me, how weird could I be?

I’ve talked a lot about Baby on this blog so far, it originated as a space for me to talk about Baby freely, piece things together, and express myself as best as I can

In this post I’d like to talk about my music a little bit

I’ve currently got some songs available on Spotify, and a podcast out under the same name - Caitlin Strommen - About my music

So if you like this blog, and can relate to any of it, you may like them too

I’ve only done two episodes of the podcast so far, one is a very short snippet and the second episode is much longer and more in depth about my music and influences My music often revolves around mental health and relationships, past and present

Other songs I really related too during that period of time, other than ones I’ve already used for this blog, were karma chameleon, liability by lorde, and I remember me by Jennifer Hudson